That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
