i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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