I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
