what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
