Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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