Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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