What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
