Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
