kristin has been a bad kristin
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
