i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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