can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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