I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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