arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
we're so committed to being not committed
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
