I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I look better un-naked...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
