He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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