I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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