Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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