i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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