He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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