Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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