Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
