i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
