is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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