sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
