My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
