I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
vagina is talking i cant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
