the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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