We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
