I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
