shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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