you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
