somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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