Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
