ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
