Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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