I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
cat food counts as protein by the way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
