this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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