dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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