I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
