i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
