There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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