I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
