The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We talked him into tasing himself.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
