grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
