just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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