chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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