Don't you send me to vm
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
