Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
