Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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