If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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